The God Who Sees Me {A Poem}
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” ~Genesis 16:13
Broken Pieces {A Poem}
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Photo credit: http://summitconnect.org/
Wildflower {A Poem}
I hope you enjoyed this poem!
~ Maddie Hodgett
*Wildflower Garden photo credit: original artwork of Kiana Mosley (www.ugallery.com)
I am Chosen {Finding my Identity in Christ}
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10
Those of you have been keeping up with my posts know that these last eight months haven’t been easy for me. They’ve been filled with many trials and hardships, a constant uphill struggle. I’ve shared lots of posts about how to be thankful for trials, being patient in struggles, and trusting God even when it seems like all hope is lost. I’ve been waiting for the day when I could finally share with you about winning the battle and finally making it to victory, and now that day is here!
I have realized that all of the trials, all of the pain, it was all leading up to my identity. For the first time in my life, I truly know what it means to find your identity in Christ. I used to find my identity in my financial status, my work ethic, my achievements, how many times my boss would give me compliments on my hard work in a single week, and so many other things. I was always striving because I felt like I needed to prove myself to my boss, my coworkers, and my family that I was good enough. But no matter how hard I tried, I never felt like I was enough. But I have learned that I am already ENOUGH, I am LOVED, I am PERFECT, and I am CHOSEN. And you know what? SO ARE YOU
In April, God promised that I was going to have a season of joy ahead. However, there was a brick wall in front of me that represented all of the lies that I believed; that I didn’t work hard enough, that I was a failure, that I wasn’t enough. He said that in order to bring me to the next stage of joy in my life, I had to first break down the wall of lies that I believed. I had to find my identity in Christ so that He could give me the blessings He planned for me. I am very confident that the next few months are not going to be like the last eight; they are going to be full of joy, new beginnings, I’m finally going to start living the life I was destined to live. There will still be trials, but knowing that I was able to overcome the fight for my identity, with God I can overcome anything. I feel that God has been stripping away every lie, every chain, every wound, and every worldly thing I found security in, until all that was left of me was Him. He broke me down in order to build me back up again.
“But He knows where I am going. And when He tests me, I will come out as pure as gold.” Job 23:10
YOU are CHOSEN
YOU are LOVED
YOU are PERFECT
YOU are ACCEPTED
YOU are HIS
There will still be trials, but I am holding onto the one who created the universe, who spoke the earth into existence and taught the wind to dance and the stars to shine, and He is holding onto me. Whenever I feel my grasp slipping, He holds on even tighter. I can surely tell you that this new sense of identity and joy wouldn’t be present in my life without the trials, the loneliness, and the pain. It only made me stronger and flourished my relationship with God. I think it’s funny that the devil tried so hard to keep me from finding my true identity, and yet it’s the very thing that made me find my identity in Christ.
Your tears will dry
Your heart will mend
Your scars will heal
And you will dance again
~Dance Again {Life Worship}
*Like what you see? Don’t forget to click the “Follow” button on the right side of the screen. You’ll have to enter your email address, but don’t worry! You don’t need a WordPress account and WordPress won’t send you any unwanted emails. It will just send you an email whenever I publish a new post so you can view it right away. Thank you!
Inner Beauty {1 Peter 3:3-4}
“Your beauty should not come from the outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” ~1 Peter 3:3-4
Being Thankful for Trials {Job 23:10}
“But He knows where I’m going. And when He tests me, I will come out as pure gold.” ~Job 23:10
Whenever I would hear the saying, “be thankful for your trials,” I always thought this is what it meant: “Well, a lot of people have a worse life than you do, so you should be thankful it isn’t that bad.” I had this idea that in order to make my suffering turn into joy, I had to focus on other people’s problems. And yet, for some reason, this “it could be worse” attitude didn’t bring me joy.
It wasn’t until I went through a long series of trials that I discovered what it was I was supposed to be thankful for. I was driving home from work one afternoon and I was listening to the song He Knows by Dan Bremnes on the radio:
He knows right where you are
He shows you in your weakest hour
He’s making something new with your broken heart
I began to realize that through all of the pain and all of the trials, God was drawing me closer to Him. He stripped me of the things that I found security in so that my only security could be found in Him alone. As I was listening to that song in my car, I began thanking God for my trials, because through them, I was able to develop an intimacy with Him that I never thought was possible. I knew that through the struggles, I was developing character and perseverance, like Romans 5:3-4 says, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” I actually began to ask God to bring more trials into my life so that I could draw even closer to Him. I sat there thinking, “If people knew that I was asking God to give me more trials, they would probably think I’m crazy.”
The Devil comes to kill, steal, and destroy, but God can turn that around and turn it into something beautiful. I was broken down until I was left with nothing, and that’s when God pieced me back together into the woman he destined me to be. In my deepest wound, I saw His glory, and it astounded me.
Photo credit: Generation 116
John 15:5 {Being Dependent on God}
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me, and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me, you can do nothing.” ~John 15:5
Have you ever been so overwhelmed that you felt like you couldn’t make it another day? Like the storms in life just wouldn’t let up and you were getting hit by one wave after another? I am currently in that situation right now. There was one day this past April that I cried out to God, “I need you.” You see, He had been teaching me that whether I’m going to a trial or a victory, I am so dependent on Him. That’s something that we often forget, we are always completely dependent on God and yet we always try to do it in our own strength. Sometimes God needs to bring us through really tough storms in order for us to realize that. “I cannot make it another day,” I told Him. I felt like I was holding onto him the with little bit of strength I had left, and I was slipping. I literally didn’t know how I would be able to get up the next day and do it all over again. “I need you God, save me.”
You may be going through a season of constant trials, of one unfortunate event after another, or you may be going through a great season in life, but either way, we need to realize that we are completely and utterly dependent on God. He wants to save you, you just have to let him.
1 Peter 4:8-10 {Serve One Another}
“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace” ~1 Peter 4:8-10
About a month after moving, God opened up a couple of volunteering opportunities around the twin cities. Even though I wasn’t able to get a job as a receptionist, I did find a faith-based non-profit health care center in need of an office assistant. I go there once a week assisting the staff with various administration and office duties, scanning contracts, assembling discharge packets, etc. I remember the volunteer director giving me the description of what my responsibilities may be, and I thanked God for giving me an opportunity to do exactly what I wanted to do. I also started volunteering as a tutor at a faith-based homeless shelter. Most of the children whom I tutor are Somalian children who were born in refugee camps in Somalia where they faced both verbal and physical abuse. When these children came to the U.S., they were put in different grade levels based on age rather than their ability, so some of them are being taught how to structure a story when they don’t even know the English Alphabet. It really amazes me how dedicated these students are. They come to the tutoring program because they really want to learn, and it brings me so much joy when I see the smile on their face when I give them encouragement or when they realize that they are starting to catch on, or when they win bingo (they love playing bingo).
There is one particular boy who melts my heart, and for confidentiality purposes, we will call him Sam. He is a fifth grade Caucasian boy and very smart. One day he was wearing a Doctor Who shirt, so we talked about Doctor Who for a while before starting. Sam is so sweet, and every time I tell him “You are so smart” or encourage him in any way, he looks up at me with his big eyes like it’s the first time he has heard such things. At the end of one of our tutoring sessions, he caught me off guard and gave me a hug and told me “Thank you.” It melted my heart. It was then that I realized that perhaps just by encouraging these children, I could change their lives. For the fifteen minutes I spend with each child, I am constantly praying for them, praying that they would grow up to be men and women of God, I pray for their families, and I pray for their schooling. I pray that God would watch over them in every step of their lives, and that He would keep them safe. I’m always reminded of one of my favorite Doctor Who quotes, (I know it’s not exactly spiritual, but it is lovely), “Every time you see [children] happy, you remember how sad they’re going to be, and it breaks your heart. Because what’s the point in them being happy now if they’re going to be sad later? The answer is, of course, because they are going to be sad later.” God values children so much, and if we can brighten their day just by giving them a smile or encouraging them, we can make a huge difference in their lives.
I encourage any young men and women, especially singles, to volunteer. It can make such an impact in your life, and now is the best time to do it. God can use you in your present situation to change lives; you just have to get out there.
Philippians 4:19 {God will supply my needs}
“And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” ~Philippians 4:19
Although I knew that God wanted me to move to Minneapolis, I had no idea when I would be moving, where I would work or live, nor where I would come up with the money to do so. Normally I would have worried, thinking that I had to figure all of this out, but I didn’t. God already had a plan, and I knew that all I had to do was trust him, and he would supply my needs. I originally thought that it could be at least a month, if not more. My brother Sam put out a Facebook post asking his Twin Cities friends if they knew any christian girls looking for a roommate. A few days later he got a reply with a link to a Craigslist advertisement. A group of 7 christian girls were looking for an eight roommate to join them in their town house near the U of M, Twin Cities. The rent seemed affordable, it was a good location, and they were christian girls who were mostly all in college. It seemed a little too good to be true, so I decided to trust in God rather than jump ahead of the game. I sent an email to the one who put out the ad, just to see if they would get back to me. They wanted someone by November 1st, and it was already October 24th, so I asked them if they would be willing to extend the deadline. I got a reply the next day.
The coordinator told me that she thought I would be a great fit for the house, and that the deadline was definitely flexible, and that she meant to change it on the website to December 1st. She connected me with Becca, the house manager, on Facebook, and I decided to come and check out the house on November 1st. It all seemed to be going so fast, so I asked God to give me peace in my heart if it was the right house. I went there that cold, Saturday afternoon with my friend Kelsey (We had gone to a ComicCon that day in Minneapolis. I know, I’m a nerd). We walked up to the cute house with twinkle lights on the outside, and a large chalkboard sign that read “Welcome to House 728!” We were greeted by Becca at the door and invited in. The house seemed so warm and cozy, a place I could definitely find myself at home in. She showed us the two living rooms, kitchen/dining room, the study room, the three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and the prayer room. There wasn’t a single thing about the house that I didn’t like. I had gone there expecting to be disappointed, afraid that I had been rushing things and that all of it seemed too good to be true, but the more I talked with Becca about the house, the more excited I got. I felt the peace in my heart that I had prayed for, and I knew that this was where God wanted me to live.
So now I had a place to live, but I didn’t want to move until I actually had a job (I was broke, remember?). I spent the next week submitting resume after resume for various receptionist jobs. I really wanted to become a receptionist. I love administration tasks and organization and office work. I could literally stand at a copying machine scanning documents for hours and find that fun (I know because I’ve done it). However, finding a company who is willing to hire a receptionist with absolutely no professional experience is almost impossible. After submitting 31 resumes to 31 different companies without a single response, I decided to look elsewhere. I applied at Target, which I know seems lame, but I could at least work there until I found another job. They called be back the next day, and three days later I went in for an interview as nervous as ever.
I think that it’s safe the say that this was my first real interview, the one where you show up an hour early just to make sure you aren’t late and bring ten extra copies of your resume in a nice, crisp folder because you’re afraid you will drop them in the snow or lose half of them. (It seems a little extreme, but that’s my paranoid INFJ personality coming through). This was it, no more small town grocery stores where you knew all of the customers by name, I was headed into the first target store ever built where the number of employees made up about a third of my hometown. I was offered a job on the spot with a starting rate more than what I was previously making. Although it was not the job I had in mind, it was the job God wanted me to have.
One week later, I would find myself moving into a house with seven christian girls and starting the job that God called me to work at. It seemed to be turning out so much better and quicker than I previously expected, which I think happens when we learn to trust God completely. He provides.
I am chosen 